I am often asked how am I so confident? The simple answer is, its layers of mental, emotional and physical experiences which will one day be in my biography lol. However, I can give you a few tips which completely transformed my confidence and please note, it is still a work in progress.
Back story: I used to be painfully shy. This is due to my childhood in which I was very ill with atopic eczema, acute asthma and what feels like 1,000 food and environmental allergies. I constantly felt like everyone was looking at me disgusted by my appearance and this was later somewhat confirmed when I was bullied throughout my childhood. Children, though innocent can be so cruel and have no filter.
I had to toughen up and gain thicker skin. Something that my Sister taught me whilst she manoeuvred some of the worst trials and tribulations that life can throw at you… She really is my hero even until this day.
Now, as an Adult in my 30’s, I just don’t care to be what others say I should be, I am me, I am amazing and I am more than enough. This is not to be mistaken for narcissism or vanity, it’s about how you feel about yourself on the inside which shines through externally. If this was Shallow Hal (Love that movie) the Goal is always to be MORE attractive internally than externally.
So Goal Chasers and Snatched Queens, Here are Five Tips on how to gain confidence in the skin you’re in:
1) Remember, you are unique!!: Ohhh how boring and cliché! Maybe, but it’s true. Your features are unique so try to OWN it. I am so please to see more diversity of women being celebrated in media. We don’t have to walk around looking the same because we are not. You are you and I am me. I may want to switch my look, change my hair, lose a few pounds or gain some and that’s okay because I am doing it for me. It’s You vs. You and Me vs. Me. Therefore, embrace your uniqueness with sass and prowess!
2) Always look people in the eye: Whew, this brings back memories. I struggles with this for years and years as well as sweaty palms caused from nervousness. Now, this is where you conquer your fear. Look people in the eye because, THEY ARE PEOPLE TOO. Regardless of our race, class, tax bracket, social status etc, we are the human race. Therefore, you looking someone in their eye is just a symbolism of understanding that you are ‘on their level’ and they are not necessarily better than you based on their possessions or the weight in which their name may hold. You’re just as amazing and you’re going to build your confidence by looking at them eyeball to eyeball.
3) Find your style and enhance it: Dressing to impress can be a real confidence boost. I take pride in my appearance without turning it into a demi-god. It’s nice to feel good. So whether I am in a fitted dress or just leggings and a cropped sweater, I like to feel good in my clothes. Find your style and take it to that next level which distinguishes you from the crowd.
This leads nicely into my next point...
4) Take pride in looking good naked: Huge shout out to the Yummy Mummy's, I have spoken to a number of you who struggle with body confidence postpartum. However in case you need to be reminded, you’re sexy, you’re fly, your c-section shows how incredible you are and anything you perceive to be ‘flaws’ will be worked on accordingly…Don’t beat yourself up about where you want to be, focus on how good you look now. My go to is usually, waxing, getting my eyebrow done and doing my nails . What makes you feel sexy? Tap into that because no one else can see you naked, but if you feel good without clothes on, you're more likely to feel good with clothes on.
5) Your vibe attracts your tribe: Therefore, endeavour to find some good friends that don’t necessarily gas you up. However, they remind you of how special you are when your confidence may be knocked. Surrounding myself with some of the best people I have ever met has completely changed the course of my life. From a mental, physical, emotional even financial aspect. They are Boss Ladies (and men) making power moves, they are humble and kind, they make me laugh and uplift my spirit when I am down. This helps my confidence. Look at your surroundings, do you have some amazing people in your life?
Those are some of the tips that come to mind and I would love to hear how you have improved or gained confidence.
Comment below and share this post with anyone who needs this advice xxx